IT WAS BEES

The Theory:
Imagine that you’re driving through the mountains. You’ve got the windows rolled down just a little way for some airflow when, suddenly, a bee flies in. You probably wouldn’t be surprised to learn that in nearly every case this results in the car sailing over a cliff.

Now imagine the same scenario in a bunch of airplanes. The pilot is flying along peacefully enjoying a nice breeze from an open window, not a care in the world, when suddenly, a bee flies in.

Evidence:

  • Bee populations have been in constant decline since 2002. A direct result of the chemtrails the government has been spraying over our cities to get revenge on the bees for what they did.
  • Who hasn’t seen someone freaking out over a bee buzzing nearby?
  • Honey melts at about 50 degrees Celsius which is much lower than the 1100 degrees Celsius fires that are caused by jet fuel. This explains the lack of honey found at Ground Zero.
  • A previous variation of this theory was that the planes were actually just a whole bunch of bees that had formed into the shape of airplanes. This was discredited when it was discovered that the footage of it happening was actually from an old Looney Tunes episode.

Is It For Me?
You should believe this theory if you enjoy a simple conspiracy. No deep state involvement, no complicated plots or precision timing. Just a couple a bees getting into a couple a planes. This theory would also be a perfect compliment to a delusion about animals being out to get you.

THE BUILDINGS HIT THE PLANES

The Theory:
Before 9/11, we’d never seen a building collapse because a plane crashed into it. On 9/11, we didn’t see it either. Instead, the planes were totally stationary. The buildings crashed into them.

Evidence:

  • Buildings are designed to move with earthquakes and the wind. Could they also be designed to move if they get bored or have malicious intent? Yes
  • Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams. Steel beams, on the other hand, have no trouble at all melting jet fuel.
  • There’s an entire nationwide system dedicated to watching planes flying around but absolutely zero people are tracking the GPS coordinates of buildings on a minute to minute basis.
  • It really feels like it’s true.

Is It For Me?
You should believe this theory if you don’t trust buildings. I wouldn’t blame you. I certainly don’t. Every building I’ve ever been in had a bunch of fire alarms and fire extinguishers everywhere like they were expecting a fire to break out at any minute.

HITLER DID IT

The Theory:
Who better to commit evil than the most evil man in history? Not content with the devastation the Blitzkrieg brought upon Europe, Hitler himself returned to mastermind the largest attack on American soil.

Evidence

  • Hitler hasn’t been seen or heard from in well over 70 years. Plenty of time to plan the attacks in secret.
  • Hitler has loads of experience planning airplane attacks. It’s not widely known, but during the 1940’s he ordered the “Luftwaffe” (German airplanes) to attack Europe, which brought down many buildings.
  • Hitler may have picked up and adapted the Kamikaze technique from fellow Axis power, Imperial Japan.
  • The 9/11 attacks were done by a suicide attacker. Hitler has already shown he’s up for suicide by committing suicide at least once before.

Is It For Me?
You should believe this theory if you don’t think modern evil is evil enough to compete with evil people of the past and you yearn for a return to a more old-school style of evil. This theory would also be great for someone who has recently slipped on a patch of ice and hit their head on a rock.

IT HAPPENED ON 9/10

The Theory:
Planes piloted by terrorists were crashed into buildings. The buildings collapsed due to the impact and the subsequent fires. It happened exactly as described by the media and government. Except for the fact that it happened a day earlier than the official story would have you believe.

Evidence:

  • Can you really remember what happened that many years ago? I can’t pinpoint exactly when I went shopping last week yet we’re all totally certain this happened on 9/11?
  • If the government had those calendars where you have to tear off a page each day they could easily have torn off two pages by accident.
  • The Mandela Effect. Much like everyone insisted it was “The Berenstein Bears” until it was revealed to have been “The Berenstain Bears” all along, 9/11 is just the date that is currently lodged in the popular consciousness.
  • This theory has literally never been mentioned by any major newspaper or television news network. In fact, the media outlet I contacted said they’d report me to the police if I didn’t stop calling them about this. Coverup much?

Is It For Me?
You should believe this theory if you think the official story basically makes sense but you still need to believe there is a shadow network of string-pullers orchestrating all major world events. This theory would also work well for you if you believe that you are a time traveller from one day in the past.

What do you think?

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