Captain’s Log
Day 1: Ah the open sea. I’ve been given command of a brand new ship by the king, and he told me to “take care of this ship”. I won’t disappoint him. All of the equipment is loaded, and the ship is ready to be loaded into the sea. Once it’s in the water it will begin to degrade, so I’ve given my first order as captain and delayed the launch to keep the ship in tip top condition.
Day 2: It’s raining today so I’ve had the crew cover the ship in tarps to keep it dry. I respect wood. Had to kill a sailor for putting his cup down on the deck without a coaster today. I think that improved morale as the crew sees the respect I have for the wood. They trust me.
Day 3: The king forced me to put the ship in the sea today. NOT impressed. How could he give me an order like that when he told me to take care of this ship? “Ships are meant for sailing” he yelled at me. Well swords are meant for stabbing but you don’t see me going around stabbing everyone… still… my king is my king, and I’m loyal to the crown. I sailed around the corner so the ship was just out of sight and had the crew towel dry the ship once we made landfall.
Day 6: After two days of keeping the ship completely dry I heard that the king has been executed and a new king has been crowned. I’m really looking forward to starting over with this new king as the old king was a flip flopper. Hopefully this new king will understand that taking care of a ship involves not sailing it.
Day 7: The new King was very impressed with the condition of my ship, so impressed that he ordered cannons to be installed! I tried telling him that this was foolish as cannons and cannon balls are notoriously dirty. The crew won’t be happy about the extra cleaning that will be required, but the ship’s condition is of utmost importance. I’m loyal to the crown.
Day 15: We’ve been at sea for a week now and it’s not going great. The ship has lost that “new ship” smell and it’s rained for the last 2 days. Also a bird pooped on the deck, which would have ruined my whole week but the men were able to capture the bird. I tried to make it walk the plank, but it flew away. As it was flying away it took another dump on the ship, so I had the men shoot it with a canon ball. In a preemptive move I ordered the men to fire at any birds they saw coming towards the ship. Sergeant at arms said it was a waste of ammunition. He may have been right. I executed him for undermining me in front of the crew, but he made a good point. We’ve run out of cannon balls, and have had to resort to killing the birds in a more… personal manner.
Day 20: Sorry for the lack of updates, it’s been a rough week. We were attacked by a group of pirates who were absolutely filthy. Because we ran out of cannon balls we had to get close enough to engage them in hand to hand combat. We killed the pirates pretty easily, but the stains of blood and dirt on my ship remain stubborn and hard to remove. Johnson spilled his grog on the deck so I had him walk the plank. The crew is beginning to resent my standards of cleanliness but I told my king I would take care of this ship, and that is what I intend to do. I am loyal to the crown.
Day 30: We were attacked by a giant sea monster last night. Several crew members died in the fight, but we managed to capture the monster and forced it to walk the plank. The most tragic part is how much slime the giant beast left on my ship. Slime is very dirty and will take days to remove. The crew fought the creature very bravely. After the battle I forced the crew to wash themselves in the sea as they were covered in filthy slime. I lost a portion of the crew to the sharks, but it’s worth it to have a clean crew and a clean ship. Those who survived the battle and the washing are scrubbing the deck to remove the rest of the sea monster slime.
Day 33: Returned home to the kingdom to find yet another king sitting on the throne. This is the 3rd king in a month, I’m beginning to think the throne is kind of a revolving door. I’m loyal to the crown, but this new king has replaced the crown the others wore and is more of a hat wearer than a crown wearer. He says the crown shows his bald spot, but a hat covers it up. That’s the last thing this kingdom needs is more cover-ups. After docking the ship I had the crew cover up the ship with a tarp to protect it from the rain. Maybe I’ll find some common ground with this new king.