Here are seven kinds of centaurs that you have never seen before.

centaur boxing ring

The Boxing Centaur.

Weighing in at over 800 pounds The Boxing Centaur is a force to be reckoned with both in and out of the squared circle. The Boxing Centaur has unparalleled cardio training reaching a galloping speed between 25-30mph. He possesses two hearts each about three times the size of a normal human heart providing extra knock-out power not available to a human being. The Boxing Centaur has also equipped boxing gloves on both hands as well as the two front hooves quadrupling his punching power. The Boxing Centaur is quickly rising in the ranks of professional boxing and is in talks to fight the current world heavyweight boxing champion.

Dan Centaur

The Hoodie Wearing Centaur.

Most centaurs prefer to wear no clothes and those are the centaurs that you’re probably used to seeing. However there are some who aren’t adverse to fashion. The Hoodie Wearing Centaur prefers cooler climates and even cooler clothes. He likes to remain comfortable and chooses a stylish yet casual hoodie that is suitable for almost any occasion. Underneath the hoodie could be a ripped physique, flowing chest hair, or unusually small nipples but that will remain a mystery to you. The Hoodie Wearing Centaur has Schrรถdinger’s chest.

centaur in a suit

The Double Suit Centaur.

Most Centaurs are completely naked. Some centaurs wear hoodies. Even fewer centaurs choose to be completely clothed on both halves. These are known as The Double Suit Centaurs. What began as modesty soon evolved into fashion. These centaurs embody the dignity of both a gentleman and a horse. They are polite, old fashioned and respectful. These centaurs are distinguished and engage in commerce as well as enjoy playing golf. Their one frustration is the lack of fashionable shoes for centaurs.

centaur jockey on horse

The Jockey Centaur.

A smaller breed of centaur and one that is quite rare is The Jockey Centaur. These centaurs are at odds with both the horse jockey world and the horse world as they don’t quite fit in with either group. Centaurs are prohibited from running in a horse race, but not prohibited from being a jockey in one. They are some of the most successful jockeys in the horse racing world today as a result of hard work and dedication.

red butterfly centaur

The Red Butterfly Centaur.

These tiny creatures are a small part of the centaur family and are the only centaurs who are pollinators. They are mostly active in the spring and summer when they can be seen around flowers and gardens. Their colorful markings are a treasure for human eyes to behold and also help camouflage them from predators like birds. The Red Butterfly Centaur is the smallest centaur ever recorded.

whale centaur

The Humpback Whale Centaur.

The Humpback Whale Centaur can be seen frolicking by land or sea. Preferring to spend most of its time in the ocean it comes up occasionally for air or to go for a run on a beach. The largest of all centaurs and weighing in at over 35,310 pounds The Humpback Whale Centaur is BIG. Looking at these animals it’s easy to see how these creatures used to be mistaken for sea monsters before we discovered they were just a new type of centaur.

trex centaur

The Tyrannoscentaurus Rex.

A long time ago a Tyrannosaurus Rex mated with a horse and gave us nature’s greatest miracle, The Tyrranoscentaurus Rex. This is the kind of centaur that makes other centaurs and every other living creature flee in terror. They are fast, they have large teeth, and prefer a diet of anything that moves slower than them. The Tyrannoscentaurus Rex is able to make use of its arms which are in proportion with the rest of its body giving it a distinct advantage over its ancestor, the T-Rex. However they still can’t see anything that moves so remember that if you ever encounter one.

Written by Jordan Ward

I'm one of the founders of Good Improv, an entertainment group focused on premise driven, logic based comedy. I enjoy having fun, making fun, and finding fun in life. Check out goodimprov.com where you can enjoy fun articles, listen to episodes of The Dan & Jordan Show, and more!

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