Comedy

The Effect Of Songs On The Public Perception Of Jumping

PREAMBLE:

Since the moment songs were invented, asking the listener to jump has been an integral element in nearly every piece of music worth remembering. This essay will explore several notable examples and gauge their effectiveness in generating both actual jumps and feelings of positivity towards jumping that may manifest in future jumps.

EXAMPLE 1: Van Halen – Jump

ANALYSIS:

Many consider this a highly deceptive piece of music that has fooled countless listeners over it’s multi-decade assault on jumping. This song is considered extremely dangerous by people who take these sorts of things seriously. On the surface, it appears to be a happy song about jumping but closer examination reveals a band disrespecting jumping in a number of ways.

A telling fact from the video is that it opens with the lead singer doing the splits on the ground instead of jumping up as one would expect. Under different circumstances, this could be explained away as a dramatic build towards a future jump occurring. However, when the song directly says “jump” the lead singer does a high kick instead, calling into question whether he’s familiar with jumping at all. In fact, over the course of the video the lead singer never jumps at all, instead choosing to flip or do a roundhouse kick while simultaneously asking the listener to jump. The entire band does finally begin to jump near the end of the song but even that is just teeny-tiny little mini-hops.

Despite the obvious disdain the artists have for jumping, the overall happy tone and usage of the word “jump” has caused many casual listeners to associate this song strongly with jumping.

OVERALL LIKELIHOOD YOU WILL JUMP AFTER HEARING THIS SONG:

The lyrics nonchalantly inform the listener that they “might as well” jump; treating jumping as some throwaway endeavour, to be undertaken without care. Moreover, the titular “Jump” appears to be nothing more than a metaphor for taking a chance on romance as opposed to a literal call to jump into the air. If the band is so wishy-washy about it, what chance does the listener have to get enthusiastic about jumping?

EXAMPLE 2: Kriss Kross – Jump

ANALYSIS:

Often thought of as the gold standard in songs about jumping, some now argue that this song sends mixed messages.

Some say that unlike other groups that implore listeners to jump, Kriss Kross, by wearing their clothing backwards, could lead some to believe that it is opposite day and their calls to jump would actually mean they were calling for listeners to crouch down (the opposite of jumping).

Others argue that the artist’s repeated usage of the word “jump” does more to ingrain the idea of jumping into listeners than the hypothetical harm caused to jumping by those who would analyze the clothing of the artist and arrive at some insane conclusion like opposite day.

However you come down on this debate, most agree that the artist spelling the word “jump” out during the song’s lyrics is a great way to teach someone how to spell “jump” if they didn’t know how to spell it already.

OVERALL LIKELIHOOD YOU WILL JUMP AFTER HEARING THIS SONG:

The video makes it abundantly clear that making you jump is the main priority of this song. A nearly overwhelming array of different types of jumps are demonstrated (Including: A basketball player. A skateboarder. Group jumping. Solo jumps. A car jumping.) Surprisingly, the video does not rely on jump cuts for it’s editing style.

Among those surveyed (myself and my friend who loves Kriss Kross), 100% of respondents responded that they would respond to a command to jump by jumping (even if this meant jumping twice in rapid succession) regardless of if it was issued by the Mac Daddy or the Daddy Mac.

EXAMPLE 3 : The Wiggles – Come On Let’s Jump

ANALYSIS:

Many consider this the most effective song about jumping ever recorded.

By targeting their music at child listeners, the artists have shrewdly paved the way for future jumps to occur. In some cases, the parents of child listeners may throw their child into the air as a form of pre-jumping which serves to prepare the child to jump on it’s own. Furthermore, the parents of any child listeners are almost sure to jump themselves in order to entertain their child or mindlessly, as though in a trance, having been worn down by parentings many downfalls.

Most would agree that the only negative is the length of the song. Clocking in at around forty seconds, there hardly seems enough time to properly explore a topic as nuanced as jumping. Modern technology has somewhat solved this issue, however, as looping the song to play over and over can provide a longer, more satisfying experience.

OVERALL LIKELIHOOD YOU WILL JUMP AFTER HEARING THIS SONG:

Although studies have yet to be conducted, my source* informs me that the likelihood of someone having heard this song as a child listener and then not feeling great about jumping would be unfathomable.

 

 

 

 

 

*a gut feeling I have

What do you think?

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