Comedy

How Living With Bees Changed My Life

When bees infiltrated my van and created a hive inside I didn’t just give up and walk away, rather I continue to live inside of that same van to this very day.

Some people will tell you to buy a house, some people will tell you to rent. Either way it’s costing you money. But you can eliminate most major expenses by living in a van. And if that van is also equipped with a hive of bees then you are living well.

Living with bees forced me to begin adjusting a few of my old habits, and I was able to reshape my life. Early on I suffered multiple accidental as well as purposeful stings from my roommates, but eventually forged a bond that is sure to last for many years.

It all comes down to collaboration. The bees provide a gentle and consistent buzz that helps me relax and fall asleep at night, I get to enjoy fresh honey in the morning when I wake up, and we all share a safe place to live.

The bees make for excellent companions. Communicating with the bees takes lots of patience, but once you achieve harmony with the hive you’re out of the woods, so to speak.

good improv van bees
Home sweet home.

The worker bees rise regularly at 6am acting like an alarm to wake me in the mornings. When I had an alarm clock I would get in the habit of hitting the snooze button. This habit nearly destroyed my life as it lead to procrastination. But now that I have bees I no longer snooze, I rise with determination. I once hit the bee hive hoping to find some sort of snooze button, but only succeeded in angering the bees. After a bee stings you, you don’t fall back asleep.

I used to obsess about grooming my facial hair. One day a single bee landed on my cheek. I thought about swatting it, but instead decided to react with positivity, and a “yes and..” attitude of acceptance. Gradually more bees gathered upon my face and after weeks of cultivation I now have a full fledged bee beard. I’m saving money on razors, saving myself the time I would spend grooming my hair, and I look stylish.

bee beard use

But it’s not all rainbows and sunshine. A lot of people look at a man living in a van with a bunch of bees inside of it, as well as bees covering his face,Ā  and think “wow he has it all.” However, I face my fair share of challenges like anyone else.

During conversations it can be hard to hear people over the buzzing sounds. I developed a condition referred to as honey-sneeze. It’s difficult to be intimate with a face full of bees. I’m not allowed on domestic or foreign flights, and my days of eating soup are long gone. But at the end of the day, its worth it to be(e) yourself.

4 comments

  1. I never thought it possible that humans can live with bees. Your post has definitely changed my mind. Its really entertaining with deep insight on cohabiting with Bees. Thanks for sharing.

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