1. Give your weapons away. Weapons are 100% more likely to cause you harm if you possess one. By giving your weapons away you will reduce your risk of injury or death by a significant amount. If you ever do need a weapon to protect yourself, your family, or your property, the police are only a phone call and a 3 minute, to 9 day wait time away.
    Sanitize your home by getting rid of any pointy objects or those that could be used to bludgeon or suffocate. This includes, but is not limited to pillows, blankets, sheets, rags, forks, knives, and baseball bats. Any ropes, strings, shoelaces and neck ties should be handed over to the nearest person who looks responsible as a first resort, and anyone as a second resort.
  2. Make sure the government can hear everything that you say. If you install one of the convenient devices the government has provided through multi-million dollar contracts with silicon valley and various tech firms then you can be safe in the knowledge that the government is always listening. This is like having a private line to the leader of your country in your home! All you have to do is speak and the little devices will pick up everything that you say. Make sure to get something small enough that you can’t be bludgeoned or attacked with it if someone uses it as a weapon. Of course it may be weaponized against you in the future, but this is an article dedicated to keeping you safe in the short term because that’s what’s important. And as soon as it becomes a weapon, give it away.
  3. Keep your door open. If you ever need to leave your home in a hurry then keeping your door open at all times will be the safest thing that you can do. This will also make it faster and easier for the government, police, or emergency services to enter your home should the need arise. Most people are good natured which means they probably won’t steal from you. You might even increase the amount of possessions you have in your home! People could leave things for you, bring you stuff etc. Ever left home and forgot your keys? Well kiss that worry goodbye with this simple fix.
  4. Always make sure your lights are all on. If there’s an emergency then you’ll want to be able to see where you are and what’s happening around you. Lights also deter criminals. They see the lights on, and they think someone is home. Leaving the light on is almost like having a security system.
  5. Tape foam on all corners, counters, and hard edges in your home. You’ll be at a lower risk of injury if you glue 6″ of soft yet dense foam or more on each of these surfaces. Or cover your body in a foam suit of protection. Armour is heavy and cumbersome, but foam is light and impacts are cushioned against it. Put some foam on your dome (head) and you’ve got even more protective padding.
  6. An alarm system sign. If you don’t want to leave your lights on all the time have a sign that says you have an alarm system so you can save yourself money and also benefit from the perception that your home is equipped with an alarm system. But don’t just stop there, get a series of signs. Beware of dog, trespassers will be shot, danger: radiation! and others like that could deter the criminal element from choosing you as their next target.
  7. Β Remove yourself inside from inside of your home. You’ve become a weapon, refer to rule number 1.

What do you think?