1) Over Easy
The most common type of eggs. Not likely to impress anyone. Very easy to cook which you should have picked up on based on the name. The preferred egg to serve if you want to make your guests think you’re a toddler cooking his first meal.

2) Poached
Whether it’s for eggs or endangered rhino horns, poaching is generally considered distasteful in polite society. The last thing you’d want your guests to remember about your eggs is their lack of taste.

3) Scrambled
Scrambled eggs are a great way to signal to your guests that you can’t make a decision and stick to it. Is the egg white the star? Is it the yolk? Surprise! It’s neither. Great to serve at an ironic dinner party where everyone brings the least appetizing egg dish they can think of.

4) Omelette
If you want to let your guests know that you have absolutely zero faith in the taste of your eggs, then an omelette is an ideal solution. You can throw in a pepper, ham and some cheddar cheese to distract from the fact that the eggs are barely a sidekick. Perfect for when you want to alienate someone who asked for an egg dish.

5) Hard Boiled
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were looking for a 1950’s film noir detective. I thought you were making me eggs.” – your guests when you try to feed them this crap. Get your head in the game. Come on.

6) Soft Boiled
You were TRYING to be even more embarrassed than you were during the hard boiled egg fiasco? Make these then. Don’t bother trying to atone for what you did.

7) Raw
Whether chugging a bunch of them in a glass like Rocky or cracking the entire dozen directly into your mouth one at a time, raw eggs are sure to satisfy even the most stringent egg connoisseur. The flavour of the egg is enhanced by the egg, allowing your taste buds to truly experience every nuance of the egg. The sliminess of the white is followed by the sliminess of the yolk giving your palate a chance to fully process the two distinct slimes that make raw eggs such an indulgence.

BONUS TIP: To add even more flavour, use the shell as an edible bowl for a truly gourmet treat.

What do you think?

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