The Wild World Of Sports: Hockey

McDavid Finished

In my position as Chief Sports Analyst for Good Improv it’s my job to bring you a unique perspective on the world of sports that you won’t find anywhere else. Today I’ve taken an in-depth look at the game of Hockey.

Icing is a word that’s said at hockey games and in kitchens. Hockey players and Chefs both wear hats. These are two clear parallels that we can draw between the world of hockey, and the world of cooking.

So is it possible that there’s a small animal pulling McDavid’s hair and controlling his moves like what happened to that chef in the movie Ratatouille? I think we would be remiss if we didn’t at least look at the evidence.

Piece Of Evidence #1: The Hockey Helmet.

hockey helmet

McDavid as well as most other players in the NHL wear a helmet on their head, much like the chef in Ratattouille wore a hat on his head. Most hockey players, McDavid included, have hair on their head. This would give a small animal, a squirrel perhaps, enough space underneath the helmet to take hold of McDavid, or any other player or hat wearer for that matter via the hair and control their motor functions like a puppeteer would control a marionette.

Piece Of Evidence #2: The Science Of Ratatouille

Ratatouille-remy-control-linguini

In the movie Ratatouille the science provided clearly explains how a small animal can hijack the motor functions of a human through pulling on their head hair, and can also give them advice to make them better at things. This settled science gives the foundation for a rock solid argument that this premise is accurate.

Piece Of Evidence #3: Animals Possessing Sports Knowledge

paul the octopus

It is my belief that there are certain animals who possess massive amounts of sports knowledge and have been providing it to a human be it from under a hat or other methods of communication. Do you remember that octopus who was really good at sports knowledge? Because I sure do. His name was Paul. Paul the octopus. And he predicted the results of football matches. This is the most stunning piece of evidence in this assessment. If Paul the octopus could predict football matches then logic would dictate that another animal could be predicting the outcome of hockey games. Combine this with the hard science displayed in Ratattouille and it’s as clear as day what’s been happening.

Closing Argument

air bud

Paul the octopus. Remy from Ratattouille. Air Bud.

The close relationship between animals and sports can’t be denied.

Many animals enjoy playing with sports equipment. Even more animals spend time watching sports on television. Take a look at your dog the next time it’s staring at the NBA game on television, studying every move and becoming an expert through observation of hours of technique.

Think about it.

What do you think?