THE CURSE OF THE GOLFMAN, AND THE DANGER OF JOINING CLUBS

golf sunrise wolf

Some people get into golf because they think it’s a fun hobby. Others become golfers after being bitten and suffering a wolfmanesque curse.

Most golfers probably won’t bite you, but in any case the safest place to be is always standing behind them. I wouldn’t endorse standing in front of anyone swinging a metal, or wooden club. Or a club of any kind for that matter.

Clubs are dangerous, people can get hurt at those places. So people may want to avoid those too, especially if it’s a club where golfers hangout, usually called a clubhouse. golf clothes

Plus golfers have so many different clubs to choose from. They’ve got woods, irons, and houses. Giving them access to so many clubs certainly can’t be decreasing the risk of a club attack. But imagine for a moment if that was the world we lived in.

Every citizen is armed with a club. Some practice at the driving range, but others just wield them with little experience. Some people start demanding “no club zones” where clubs are prohibited.

We start seeing club attacks across the country, but occasionally there are some good people with clubs to stop the bad people with clubs. Sometimes the good people with clubs club each other in the confusion.

Going out clubbing at a nightclub can take on either sinister, or fun context in this world.nightclub crowd clubs

Cub scouts carry clubs, curling clubs carry clubs, and clubs clutter closets.

Some people would propose a total club ban, which would devastate the playing card industry as they’d be forced to play with only hearts, diamonds, and spades.

Club sandwiches. We’d lose those too. Book club would become an underground ring, like Fight Club, as the crackdown on clubs continues. Club Nintendo, Club Med, Culture Club. So many would be completely shut down. But people would still join and wield clubs.

It all amounts to a slippery slope to nowhere good. So how to you solve the club problem? If banning clubs and giving everyone a club are both ineffective, what do you do?

Be an individual.

What do you think?