Animals have been active members of society for some time now, with many making great contributions in the fields of science, politics, baseball, and more. I’d like to take a look back at some of the most memorable animals throughout history, plus some of my personal favorites.
Lou “The Driving Elephant” Marvin
Ah, Lou. This elephant was famous for being the first elephant taxi driver. Most elephants in Bertram Mills worked jobs in the Circus, as did Lou, but Lou defied expectations and quit performing under the big top to pursue his passion for driving.
Once animals achieved equal rights with humans in 1959, Lou headed straight to the DMV to obtain his driving permit. Lou was too large to fit inside of a car with a roof on it, but he preferred the pleasure of driving in the open air anyways.
Lou’s weight was too much for a regular car to handle, so he drove in a steel-reinforced vehicle that could sustain his hefty mass.
Lou wasn’t the fastest driver on the road, mostly due to his weight impeding the speed of his vehicle, but he was consistent and worked for peanuts.
Lou was eventually prohibited from driving due to his slow speed having caused several major delays on roadways. He was also an alcoholic, which was fine when he wasn’t driving but made him a danger to the public when he got behind the wheel of a car.
Working as a Chauffeur for French Aristocrat Manda Leblanc, Barkley McRuff quickly garnered a reputation for being one of the best drivers in Europe.
One of McRuff’s favourite pastimes was chasing cats. He excelled in this area compared to other dogs who lacked his ability to drive.
Dogs usually have their access to food regulated by their owners, but McRuff was liberated from those bonds with his car allowing him to go through the drive-thru whenever he was feeling hungry.
Unbeknownst to his employer, McRuff was also a prominent getaway driver for hire. European police forces were chasing his tail for years, hoping to catch the driver that constantly evaded capture.
McRuff was finally brought to justice after a simple parking violation. One day, while parked in front of a fire hydrant, Barkley got out of his vehicle and marked his territory. Police were able to match his DNA with DNA left on several other fire hydrants located near other crime scenes.
After running his plates through their system, they knew they had the right culprit. McRuff spent three months in the pound for bad behaviour, and had his drivers license revoked for a period of three years. He lived the remainder of his life as a “good boy”.
Road Warrior Animal
Road Warrior Animal is a wrestler, part of the Legion Of Doom, and one of my favorite animals.
I’d watch him battle in tag team matches, often with his partner, Hawk, who wasn’t an actual hawk, but was just as fearsome of a creature.
Road Warrior Animal would clothesline, suplex, and body-slam his opponents. His most memorable finishing move was a joint effort called the doomsday device, a clothesline delivered from the top turnbuckle to an opponent who was raised up in a seated position on the shoulders of a standing man. Russia claims to possess a similar weapon.
Mayor Mickey O’Rourke
At a town hall meeting in Ardmore Alberta, citizens were asked who would be willing to step forward and assume the mantle of Mayor. Silence fell over the crowd. After five minutes of tense silence, a single voice was heard.
Stepping forward from the crowd, German Shepherd Mickey O’Rourke volunteered for the position and went on to become the single most celebrated figure in Canadian Politics in the last century.
From balancing the budget overnight, to creating thousands of new jobs, Mayor Mickey O’Rourke worked tirelessly to reform the political landscape and brought years of prosperity to a once crippled town.
After solving all of the town’s problems, Mayor O’Rourke dedicated most of his time to answering the hundreds of letters of fan mail he received each week.
Mayor O’Rourke considered running for Prime Minister, but ultimately declined saying that Ottawa was “full of cats”.
Astonishingly, Mayor O’Rourke wasn’t initially planning to become the mayor at that fateful town meeting. He only barked in response to a command to “speak” issued by his owner and top political advisor, Jackson Smith.