Memo To Tenants RE: Wife’s Death

Gabrielle Stockton
08/10/55 – 10/28/18

The Clarewood Manor says goodbye to Gabrielle Stockton (64), building handywoman.

Gabrielle is survived by her husband, Franklin “Frank” Stockton (61), building manager, buzzer number 104 and her son Franklin “Frank Jr.” Stockton Junior (42), unemployed, buzzer number 104. Hours: 9:00 AM – 4:30 PM

Gabrielle passed in the early afternoon while attempting to repair the buzzer at the entrance of the building. The buzzer will be out of service indefinitely and will be repaired following a reasonable period of mourning.

Building management will also be unable to accommodate any other repair requests during this difficult time (including requests that had been made prior to this terrible event).

Funeral service/garbage pickup is set for Wednesday. Remember, don’t leave garbage bags/corpses of loved ones in front of your unit. This hurts the value of the ENTIRE building.

Gabrielle’s last words were “Make sure no one smokes inside the building”. Tenants are expected to follow last-words bylaws. Renters who refuse will be subject to fines or even eviction. Refer to your lease.

In lieu of flowers, please pay rent.

What do you think?