Alberta’s economy has people debating the best course of action. These are some ideas to get Alberta back on track to economic prosperity. To begin, here is a quick breakdown of Alberta’s available resources. As you can see from this chart Alberta is rich in two natural resources, oil and snow.
Inflatables
Alberta is landlocked which means that it’s hard to access the sea to distribute oil to foreign markets. But the sky is everywhere. Using hot air balloons Alberta could float its oil to anywhere in the world. This also means more jobs! Alberta would be able to hire 1-2 operators per balloon to carry oil from Alberta to wherever it needs to go. Use thousands of balloons and you’ll create thousands of jobs. Strapping barrels of oil to each balloon with a length of steel rope would ensure that the oil is transported safely and cleanly through the skies. A hot air balloon that is 65’000 cubic square feet can lift 1000 pounds. The weight of a barrel of crude oil is 275 lbs. That means that each hot air balloon can safely lift 2 barrels of oil plus 1-2 people with a combined weight of under 450 pounds. Oil spills would soon be a thing of the past because hot air balloons are an incredibly safe form of transportation, and they have become even safer over time. Between 1785 and 2018 there have only been 172 deaths globally from hot air balloon accidents, and no oil spills related to hot air balloons at all. Hot air balloons use propane gas. Propane is non-toxic and insoluble in water, so poses no threat to aquifers or the groundwater supply. It is also not harmful to soil and is one of the lightest hydrocarbons in existence; it is one of the cleanest burning of all alternative fuels.
Keeping with the sky theme the next option is blimp-like airships. Once heralded as the future of air transportation blimps have been somewhat forgotten over time. New fuel-efficient airships can carry up to 50 tons, can stay aloft for weeks and land just about anywhere around the globe. These airships use helium which is an inert gas, unlike blimps of the past which used flammable hydrogen. They also have the ability to take off vertically which means no need for a runway or an airport to facilitate their use.
Launchers
The slingshot. The catapult. Donkey Kong. What do they have in common? They are all capable of launching objects over large distances. A standard hand held slingshot is capable of launching a rock 50-100 meters. Imagine a giant industrial scale slingshot capable of launching a single barrel of oil over 500-1000 miles or kilometers into a large net. The same could be said of catapults which were commonly used until the advent of gunpowder. It seems that these ancient inventions are poised to make a comeback in the age of innovation. Suddenly being landlocked is no longer a concern because oil can be launched over bodies of water or across borders. These devices are also 100% green energy which is good for the environment.
An army of Donkey Kong-like apes throwing oil barrels could also prove quite useful. Oil gets put into barrels for shipping purposes, and video games have demonstrated that Donkey Kong is great at throwing barrels. Add cloning technology into the mix and you have a win-win-win scenario. An army of Apes could be genetically modified to give them the super strength needed to throw oil barrels across great distances with ease.
Drilling
Alberta could also make use of its considerably impressive drilling equipment to drill through the earth and deliver its resources through a series of tunnels. However Alberta need not rely on machinery alone to achieve this tunnel vision. Alberta is home to many animals such as badgers, gophers, earthworms and others which naturally tunnel their way through the earth. By harnessing the power of these tunneling animals combined with the prowess of the many engineers and professionals in the province, Alberta could reach markets on the other side of the world by drilling through the center of the Earth.
Selling Snow
One of Alberta’s most abundant resources is snow which arrives in abundance every winter. In fact, Alberta’s oil reserves are rivalled only by its snow reserves. Winter can last between 6-8 months each year and produces an incredible amount of snow, for which other nations would pay dearly. If Alberta monetized snow, money would literally be falling from the sky. Snow can be transported via inflatables, launchers, and can even be turned into snowballs which can be easily thrown by an army of Donkey Kong-like apes and humans alike. Shifting from an oil-based economy to a snow-based economy wouldn’t happen overnight, but by the end of winter Alberta would have enough riches to rival that of the Catholic Church, or Google. Snow collection and distribution could provide jobs for every Alberta resident who is able to work.
These are just some of the many ways that Alberta can achieve unending economic growth. What are your thoughts? Do you have any ideas on how to improve Alberta’s economy? Let us know in the comments.