dead goomba

The Mushroom Kingdom has been stricken with fear in the wake of a serial killer who has been terrorizing the local populace.

Four more Goombas have died in a spate of murders that seem to be moving through every level in the kingdom. No one saw the man behind the massacres in the first few worlds, but eyewitnesses of the latest crime may have given us a glimpse at who is responsible.

Details of the killers identity have remained scarce, save for a few vague descriptions of the perpetrator. But a Dry Bones that was stomped managed to reaffix his head and provide authorities with a clearer picture of the man responsible.

The killer is thought to be a laborer, warehouse worker, or perhaps a trades-person who looks approachable and trustworthy. However, authorities warn that the killer may change outfits regularly to avoid suspicion.

They warn not to approach the suspect directly as the killer may be under the influence of mushrooms, or some other mind-altering substance such as a power star. As a precaution, all power stars will now be guarded by high level bosses to protect any further violence from occurring.

Authorities have released details on some of the deaths, we warn you that what follows is shocking information that may frighten some of our readers. Discretion is advised.

Many of the victims have been killed by a jump, delivered to their head or body. Others have been killed by fireballs thrown at them with significant velocity. Some have even been attacked with a raccoon tail. Authorities ask that people be on the lookout for anyone seen attempting to hit a question block in search of a powerup.

The killer seems to be targeting Goombas, Bob-ombs, and Lakitus. If you are a creature of an identical, or similar type, you are advised to seek shelter indoors and not to wander west past Choco Mountain, or south beyond the Rainbow Road race track.

In an effort to protect the citizens of the kingdom, Bowser (a.k.a. King Koopa) has placed Thwomps, Chain Chomps, and Bullet Bills in defensive positions across the land to discourage the killer from striking again.

Police have released this sketch of the suspect. If you see anyone matching this image please alert the nearest Koopa Troopa.

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An artists rendition of the Mushroom Kingdom Murderer based on multiple eyewitness accounts.

“This really is quite terrifying because it’s edging closer to where we live,” Bowser said at a press conference on Tuesday as an airship circled overhead searching for the suspect.

“We will hunt this person down until we find them,” Bowser continued. “As you know three of my own children have been killed by this madman. I assure you that I will catch the man responsible for killing Ludwig, Iggy, Wendy.”

The suspect is considered armed and dangerous. Do not attempt to approach him. He is thought to work alone, although some reports suggest he may be receiving material support from his brother and a dinosaur.

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